My husband passed away July 3rd. The funeral was July 15th and I just returned to the Northwoods from Minnesota after a little more than 2 months. It's really hard to believe that I lost my what appeared to be healthy husband after only a little more than 4 months of being diagnosed with lung cancer.
Most of the time he was far more reserved, quiet, less talkative and private than I was. At times I could get him to be spontaneous about things, but it was rare because inevitably something always seemed to go wrong when he did. We were so very different, but so much alike. I guess that's why we got along so well.
St. Croix Hospice was wonderful in keeping Steve comfortable for the last month of his life. All of the nurses and other employees were very kind and professional. He really liked all of them very much.
I have some guilt because I really should have brought him back to Wisconsin to be surrounded by things that were familiar to him. I'll regret that for a long time. I was told that he possibly couldn't make the trip back to Wisconsin and was convinced that I wouldn't be able to take care of him by myself. Well, hindsight is 20/20 and this was not true. I should have trusted my instincts and did what I thought was right. I felt so bad because he said that he wished I would have brought all the photos with us to his sisters so he could look at them. If he had been home, we could have looked at all of them as many times as he wanted. We needed about 50 photos for the funeral service so that they had photos to show his life story. His sister didn't have that many. I had none with since I was so far away from home. I don't feel that the few photos that were used accurately portrayed his life.
I can't do anything about what happened, as it's all in the past. I know now that I would have done things differently. I'm just happy that he's not in pain anymore. I also know that I did my very best to make his last days as comfortable and pain free as possible. I was at his side for the the whole journey from start to finish. Since I wasn't working, I was able to be there for everything.
I brought a little of Steve home with me. I was able to get an urn of his ashes that is 2-3/4 - inches in height. Because Steve loved Las Vegas so much, if I ever go back there I think I should take a few of the ashes and spread them somewhere in the city.
A friend of mine came back to the Northwoods with me. She is helping me go through items to toss, donate and get ready for a garage sale.
I found a recipe in my email from Taste of Home for a peach cobbler. Since I love to bake and cook and haven't had much opportunity to do so in the past few months, I told her I'd make this dessert for us. Recipe is below.
We've really been working hard, so this was delicious last night!
I have a long way to go before I have everything taken care of. My friend just looks around and shakes her head telling me I've got my work cut out for me. I am downsizing and let me tell you, I have a lot to part with! I made it through the last few months, so I know I will make it through this.
My new journey is something I'm very excited about! I will be moving back to Minnesota! I'm happy about that, but wish it were under different circumstances. I love the city I've chosen that I want to live in. I will be closer to family and friends. More about this later.
I'm packing up my scrapbook room and I'm under strict orders from my children that I'm not to be doing any crafting until I move. I really feel withdrawal so bad! I haven't made anything since the beginning of May!!!
Thanks for stopping by my blog during this transition time that I'm going through. Now for the recipe:
(Taste of Home)
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup milk
3 cups sliced peeled fresh or frozen peaches
2 cups water
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1 tablespoon butter
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
Ground cinnamon, optional
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. In a large bowl, combine flour, sugar, baking powder and salt Stir in milk just until combined; fold in peaches. Spread into a greased 8-inch square baking dish.
In a large saucepan, combine water, sugars, butter and nutmeg and cinnamon if desired. Bring to boil, stirring until sugars are dissolved. Pour over top.
Bake 40-50 minutes or until filling is bubbly and a toothpick inserted in topping comes out clean. Serve warm or cold with cream. Yield: 8 servings.